Period is the best thing about being a woman….said no woman ever! Well, we know we are born as females but why we women endure so torturous authentication of feminism is completely beyond my comprehension. Every month, those five days of bloody flood down in our uterus giving us the worst ever feeling and experience can never be understood by any man unless they undergo the process personally. Craving for hot chocolate, running out of sanitary napkins, being scared of light coloured clothes, getting bloody surprise visits are some unpleasant experiences that we encounter every month till we reach our natural menopause. Periods and menstruation are such discomforting womanly process that can never be appreciated by men. Let’s get to those gross period things that can only be understood by all women.
1. Period sneezing
Sneezing while you’re on your periods is really gross. It brings the worst ever tsunami directly from your uterus right down to your maxi pads.
2. Mood swings
I crave for chocolates on those days whenever I get surprise flows. Feeling irritated, tired and lazy are some of the common mood swings that every woman experiences on periods.
3. Surprise visits
Surprise visits are always the mood spoilers. When you think you’re done with excess bleeding, then here it comes. “Hello, I’m back. Did you miss me?”
4. Early periods
When you predict your menstrual cycle dates and plan your trips according to it. They love to come early to pay a lovely visit. Tadda! How could you miss your periods?
5. Late periods
You have already crossed the deadline of your estimated period dates and when it comes, it’s a giant wave. Gush!
6. Specific periods wardrobe
No whites, light coloured pants and bottoms, separate panties and inners and extra thick sanitary pads are the special items for your period wardrobe. Did I miss loads of perfume bottles?
7. Flooded undies
When you get drowned in your period blood at night your panties feel the real bloody flood all over.
8. Staining underwear
When you feel like you have stained your underwear you start walking like a cute penguin. I hate that moment!
9. Mega Day 2 period
When it’s Day 2, it’s warning! Warning! Everywhere! You get completely drenched and drowned in your own period blood and you get ready with extra pairs of panties to fight back like a real hero.
10. World war inside uterus
When it’s menstruation, it feels like something serious is going on inside your uterus. Everything seems to be messed up and tangled inside and that exact feeling is similar to Chinese third degree torture-esque pain.
11. Turning down weekend plans
When everything is planned, and you get unexpected periods on weekends your world seems to be dark. It’s more bad when you get periods on Friday night and you stay at home to menstruate peacefully.
12. Periods during summer
Super gross! It feels like you getting panic attacks every time you get up from your seat. You keep checking your seat if it’s stained or it’s only the sweat.
13. F**king cramps
How can I forget those gut-wrenching cramps every initial days of periods? It feels like something is sucking, stabbing and ripping inside your uterus to give you the world’s scariest and heart-rending feeling.
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14. Period showers
Well, when you’re bleeding, your bathroom needs to be colourful. And that’s RED! You keep bleeding and you know you’re showering so no need of panicking rather you can sing, “Let it go…let it go…”
15. Temporary period retreat
So it’s fourth day and you think that’s it. You’re done and can try some whites. But, whoa!! I’m back. It comes back to let you know it’s still there. Dare to try whites, at your own risk.
16. Constant fear
It is really disgusting, when you have to keep a constant check on your tampons and pads consistently which keeps your fear alive for five days.
17. Romantic vacation spoiler
So, planning to go on a vacation with your beau? There is someone who needs your company too. That’s what we call romantic vacation spoiler.
18. Still a relieving news
Yeah! No matter how much period blues we get, still it’s much better than getting the fear of being pregnant. Whew! I’m not pregnant at least, feels much better.