Romance and love are the two words that allure even the oldest as much as the youngest. Everyone longs for companionship and love, which is why there are many misconceptions and mysteries surrounding the word love and romance. Surprisingly, most of these are just mere false perceptions or myths about love and it is better to get rid of them rather than consider them to be true and lose on a meaningful, long-lasting relationship.
One of the commonest of all the beliefs is that love is a special emotion and that you are quite aware when you feel it. However, the psychologists believe it to be a very complicated state of mind in which the emotions vary individually. Hence, it is quite difficult to put such feelings in a definition. Rather the emotions of a person in love can be very different from the other.
Here are some of the myths about love and the facts associated with them:
1. Love and Romance are Associated with Marriage
Whenever you tell someone about your love, the first question is when are you going to get married? People worldwide are of the notion that when you marry, it represents that the romance will last forever, and the relationship is permanent. However, love and marriage are not necessarily linked together. Practically speaking, love or romance is expressing your feelings whereas, marriage is a social contract that gives the status to your relationship in the society, does not guarantee the permanence of romance.
2. Love is Blind
Have you seen a pair that is entirely opposite to each other, physically, intellectually or status-wise? There are many such examples of the successful couples who do not match each other, but still have a successful married life. But unlike the popular perceptions, it is not because love is blind, but because the couple is more compatible emotionally, respect and have accepted each other the way they are irrespective of their external image.
In any relationship if either of the partners has a disagreeable trait, the relationship fizzles out eventually.
3. Short or Long Absence Increases Love
Traditionally, it is believed that when a couple in love, is separated for a short or a long period, it intensifies the feeling of love for each other. However, life is real and not a dream and logical thinking suggests that if you stay away from each other for long, chances are that the bonding and affection may weaken and you might get involved with someone else. Hence, the maxim, ‘out of sight is out of mind’ is aptly applicable here.
4. Physical Attraction and Love are the Same
When you are young, it is quite difficult to separate true love and lust. Everyone grows up making silly mistakes and there is a lot of confusion between whether you are in love or it is just a passing crush or infatuation. But once you are out of your teens, you can easily identify between lust and love. A relationship based on true love generates deep understanding and respect between the two, whereas lust is limited to personal physical satisfaction. Confusing love and lust can be disastrous for the relationship’s sustenance in the long run.
5. Gifts are Important in Love
Love is a pure, intense and natural feeling that does not have to do anything with material happiness. You can fall in love with a pauper , or a princess and can feel the same intensity of romance irrespective of whether you are getting gorgeous gifts or not. In love and romance, thoughtful surprises and simple gestures of thankfulness are enough to deepen the passion.
Some of the blame regarding this go to our classic films that always depict mushy-mushy romance expressed with chocolates and flowers. In real life a simple and straightforward, ‘I love you’ can be magical enough to reach the heart of the other.
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6. Romance Needs Lot of Efforts
This is one of the craziest myths about love. Romance is a natural emotion, and the actions are spontaneously produced without much effort. Love that requires taking extra care or management is artificial and can never become a foundation for a solid relationship in the future. Let the romance unfold naturally so that you can be yourself all the time without ever having to put in extra effort or to prove your point.
7. Your Soulmate Knows About Your Feeling
Whosoever believes in such a myth is indeed a dreamer. If you are expecting your partner to be a intelligent mind reader, then your relationship is already heading for the doom. Good communication is the highlighting feature of all the successful relationships. Only when you communicate with each other on a regular basis and spend quality time can you reach a level where the other can logically deduce what you are thinking. But this does not have anything to do with someone being your soul mate. Only years of togetherness can bring clairvoyance in the interactions in between a couple.
8. Love is Everything
In all the cultures across the world, people are obsessed with the pursuit of romance and the idea of romantic love. The fairy tales and moral stories you read in your childhood settle a notion in your mind that love is the core of all the happiness. But eventually when you do fall in love, in real life you are confused because the actual experience fails to meet your fantasy or its effect deteriorates over the time.
Love never is the key to solving all the major problems in life, and each question comes with a unique solution. Lots of sharing, caring and give and take can ultimately help you reach a platform where your relation will flower and culminate into a deep bonding and affection.
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9. Right Partner Will Make Me Feel Complete
One of the common myths about love is that the right partner can make you feel complete. People live all their lives, moving from one relationship to another in search of a partner, a soul mate who will make them feel complete. And in the process nip even those affairs in the bud that have the potential to flower and grow into a long-lasting relationship.
It is high time that you understand that there is no happily ever after and real love is far different from the image reinforced in your mind through movies, television, songs and books. Unconsciously, your mind starts looking out for personalities that are imbibed through such mediums. However, when the pursuit of romantic love does not match up to your intense expectations you feel unhappy over your romantic status.
No woman or man can match the high expectations of fantasy. These are the real people and do not need to live up to such expectations to be loving and healthy partners. You should liberate yourself from the shackles of these myths about love and try to form a healthy relationship with a partner who accepts, respects, loves you for what you are, and expect the same and nothing more from you.