Finding Love With The Best Trans Dating Sites
Being transgender isn’t all about causal sex and drag queens, despite what the media might have us believe. No matter what genitals you were born with, sometimes it just doesn’t match with who you are. Despite being in the normative majority, straight Cis-binary people find it hard to meet someone and fall in love, but if you a trans or gender fluid, whether you are straight, queer or bi, you face even more challenges.
Everyone deserves love, everyone! When you are trans though, it can be hard to find. Sure, you can go to trans friendly clubs, but it you’re more introverted these are often more like a meat market than the place to find romance. This is why trans specific and trans friendly online dating sites have started to appear. You can learn more here, but if you are looking for a safe place to meet someone who could actually be a soulmate, online dating could be for you.
Safety First
It is a scary reality for anyone who is trans that transphobia is very much alive and real and poses a serious risk to anyone stepping out of the closet or simply trying to find simple love. Although often it is the more extraverted trans folk that are targeted for transphobic attacks, the truly deranged amongst them are not above catfishing purely to try and cause harm to a transgender person.
In order to find love, you do have to open yourself up to having your heart broken, but you should never have to put yourself in a situation where your body or sprit will be broken too. It doesn’t matter whether you present as male or female, you don’t need to be scared, but you do need to be aware.
When setting up your profile you are going to be putting yourself out there, but you don’t need to put so much information that it makes it easy for the weirdos to find where you work or where you live.
Once you’ve been chatting to someone online, have a video chat with them before agreeing to meet them in person. This has the added advantage of confirming that the person you are talking to isn’t using a fake profile picture, but even more importantly, talking with someone in real time, even if not in person, is really a fantastic way to get to know them. You are seeing the real time gestures, hearing their laugh, and can hear the genuine tone in their voice.
When you do finally meet them in person, arrange to meet in a public place, and make sure that someone knows where you are going and who you are going to be there with. Arranging to have your friend call, or otherwise check in with you in an hour or so is a good idea. You could even consider having a causal codeword for if you’re in trouble, if you think things are going great, or if you need a lift out of there in a hurry.
Finding A Dating Site
If you’re transgender you know that not everyone is going to be right for you, and being able to put it out there front and centre saves a lot of problems – although you still have to put up with the crazies, the fetish freaks and the rude arseholes unfortunately. But it is easier to wade through this with the block button handy than having to face them in real life.
Although many dating apps are still lagging behind in catering for the trans community, dating sites are starting to step up. Although you can find dating sites that are specifically for transgender people, there is also an increase in more ‘mainstream’ online dating sites allowing for different options for gender that include trans and gender fluid. https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/sexuality/agenda/article/2018/05/22/side-swipe-challenges-online-dating-while-trans
Often these sites will promote themselves more as a place to hook up or find a warm body for the night, however, if that is not what you are looking for, don’t use them as such. If your profile states that you are looking for a longer-term relationship or soulmate you will find it easier to weed out the people that just want a casual fling. Generally, you will often find that those who really are just looking for a hook-up for tonight, literally mean tonight, they’re not at all interested in spending time and effort getting to know your personality.
Whether you have had gender confirmation surgery or not, is really none of anyone’s business unless you choose to disclose. This becomes a sensitive topic, particularly for those that are just coming out as trans. If you are isolated with no access to other transgender people in your life, join some supportive online group before you start online dating so you can have people to turn to if you do encounter a nasty harasser.
General Filter or Exclusive Site?
The general options for online dating sites if you are trans is to either join up with one of sites that are exclusively for transgender love, or to sign up with a more mainstream site that allows for a decent filter system – one that allows you to say that you are trans, and to specify what type of attraction you have.
Although a trans exclusive site might appeal, if you consider yourself to be more ‘mainstream’, this may not work as well as you had hoped. Many of these sites are designed to appeal to a specific subgroup, including ‘ladyboys’, and those who have a fetish. This, of course, is not all trans exclusive sites, so try and read a few reviews before you pay for a full membership.
With the more mainstream dating sites that do allow for filtering you will generally find that there are more people that are potential dates. Although you may have to use the block function freely, you will often find a far more diverse group of people simple because they are more well known.
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